Are you easily offended? You know — one of those who seem to be on a constant witch-hunt to find, and gratuitously take offense? Do you interject your indignity and troubled feelings (even about the smallest of things) at the drop of a hat? Do you rage incessantly with some kind of inconsolable need to find something wrong and then spin the whole thing around and make it all about you? To be clear, there are those who seem to be obsessively engaged in their own little quest to get even with the world by winning the “offended” lottery. These people are very determined and extremely focused on one overriding life altering obsession — to be the easiest and most offended person ever! Are you one of those? If so, then please, come right in and sit down, and let’s have a nice little talk just you and me.

Now, I’m gonna try and put this across in the simplest way that I know how so that hopefully you’ll understand; STOP IT!!! Stop being that way — it’s extremely unbecoming, and ultimately a real pain in the neck for the rest of us. That’s right, you heard me — quit acting like some demented hoity-toity better than everyone spoiled rotten stinky little brat! You’re not society’s Lord and Overseer, and in most cases you’re not anywhere near as smart as you think you are. Just take a step back, breathe and consider all the ramifications of throwing your stinky little fits — forcing upon everyone else the absurdity of just how offended you are. Exercise a tiny bit of social awareness and STOP BEING LIKE THAT!!!

You’ll be all right, I promise. Life will go on, and you just may be pleasantly surprised at how much easier it is to get along with others. Why? Because that’s just kinda how it all works!

Now, that’s not to say that we’re never supposed to take offense at anything. But, there’s a time, place, and reason for everything. Your problem is that you don’t subscribe to any of that — you just throw-up being offended all over the place for everybody to see!

Wait a minute, what’s that? You take offense at what I’m saying, and how I’m saying it? Well, guess what? That offends ME! Do you see what you’ve gone and done? Now I’M offended! I’m offended that you’re offended, and you have no idea at just how offended I can get. Let’s just put it this way — I invented the “offended lottery,” and can get really, really, really offended! My face gets all red and maroon in color, I stomp around, rant and yell, and believe me — everyone around me knows when I’m offended, by gosh!

So, if I were you — I’d be a little more focused on NOT offending ME!!! Why? Because I fancy MY being offended to be much more important and news-worthy than any of yours!

Yea……………! That was some pretty tough talk, eh? Did you notice how ridiculously rude and full of myself that all sounded? Get the point?

So, back to what we were originally talking about — do you think that you could possibly bring it down a few notches on the whole letting yourself become so easily offended? It would sure be nice if you did, and I can guarantee you that many of us would surely be grateful. I also believe that it would greatly contribute toward making the world a much better place, I really do!

-TomZom