When an argument of any kind breaks out it seems only natural that there be a third-party. Another human life who can give that third-party perspective, to try to keep the whole situation as “fair” as possible.  Seems like a fool-proof plan to keep both sides of the argument in line, and under control right?

WRONG!

The middle man is probably one of the most unfair, and uncomfortable positions you can ever put a person in, especially if said “Middle Man” is friends with both parties involved! It’s a set up to take sides so no matter how you spin it, shake it, toss it or whatever you want to do with it, you’re going to end up doing one of three things.

1). You’re going to offend one of the people who forced you into the argument.

2). You’re going to offend BOTH of the people who forced you into the argument .

3). You’re going to be no help whatsoever, and make the entire situation WAY worse than it already was to start out with.

Seems like the simple solution would be to quit putting people in that awkward position of having to choose sides, and throw in their two cents about your stupid, idiotic, unimportant, and personal debate. But, of course, we as humans don’t think that way, oh no! There (seemingly) must ALWAYS be that someone who people can rely on to “have their back.” Well, I’m going to give you some advice that could quite possibly save a whole ton of hoopla for all those “Middle Men” out there.

Are you ready for it? Okay, here it comes…..

DEAL WITH YOUR OWN ARGUMENTS!

There it is, I said it. You started it, you finish it. You can’t always rely on another person to take your side! why? Because 99.9% of the time, the person who you so forcefully added to your little debate does not give two flying flips of a McDonalds McDouble about what your little argument is even about! So why in the world would you even begin to be the least bit offended with the opinion of the person who was forced to GIVE their opinion in the first place?

My guess? It is because most of the time, the opinion given from the third-party or “Middle Man” is generally going to be the most straight forward, and honest answer you’re going to receive. It, by default becomes their job, starting from the time you forced them into your business, to observe, and see both sides equally, and to create common ground for both parties to put their differences to rest. So what happens? their views end up getting shot to the ground — generally by both parties, because they didn’t magically agree with 100% of either party.

In conclusion, I would just like to say this: Cut the middle man some slack as you brought that person in to the argument in the first place! Show some dang appreciation to those who have to sit there and listen to some debate that they didn’t even start, are not at all involved in, and are now obligated to finish. You’re NOT going to win every single one of your arguments. If you feel the need to have a “Middle man,” then listen to whatever it is they have to say. Be open to the advice they give — YOU ASKED FOR IT!

-Venus