USA 07 SEP 2015 — An aggressive group of devout Christians who claim a strong affinity to the specific words ‘Gay’ and ‘Lesbian’ along with a worshipful attraction to the ‘Rainbow’ symbol — are creating a New Age Church of progressive Christianity. The new church will be called The First Church of the Lesbianna Cult of Gayiety.
Their doctrine, among other basic Christian philosophy as interpreted, will be built upon something they refer to as “reverse love.” One of its main tenets will be a precept built upon that particular principle where righteous tranquility may be achieved through a discipline they call jotuiiea. One very disturbing trait resulting from this personal exercise is the ability to become — and remain totally void of, and violently against any degree of Homosexuality and Transvestitism. Other points of doctrine will include the highest degree of love and admiration of Mother Earth, Nature, and some animals, along with men and women living modestly within their most natural habitat, and participating in the often repeated ritual of covering themselves with river mud mixed with roughened fish scales. This ritual is in the similitude of the blind man rubbing mud in to his eyes and washing it out in the river, whereas being able to miraculously see afterwards — with the roughened fish scales representing the miracle of the loaves and ‘fishes.”
Thousands of people each month are being drawn to this new religion which seems to be growing rapidly in popularity. When asked if this was just another passing fad — Reverend Albert A. Culpepper of the Eastham congregation said: “Nay to the mighty, when windswept followers have become drawn to such a sea of iniquity. Let us face the sprawl and swather forward into the hollow-fold of light and invisible mass!”
When asked why the name of the church included the words Lesbianna and Gayiety, and featured a Rainbow in its logo – the churches executive spokesperson Hy Hyik said “we like the power behind those two particular words, and what has been accomplished within the LBGT community through the use of them. We are also drawn toward the all-inclusiveness represented by the colors of the rainbow. That great symbol along with those two powerful words simply have great impact in today’s society, and we want to be sure and take advantage of – and benefit from all they would lend toward the building of our particular sect of Christianity.”
When asked whether or not those defining terms and the defining rainbow symbol were already identified with the LGBT community, the reply was “no one owns the terms, or the rainbow, and we have every right of claim to their use as the LGBT community has to the term marriage (which we believe to be a sacred term identifying the bond between a man and a woman). Our goal is to proselyte to the world and market our beliefs in a manner that will fundamentally change the meaning of the terms and symbol to define (at a glance) our sacred and chosen way of life. In short — we identify with these things, and we want them to identify us.”
We wanted to probe more, but started noticing the rather odd manner in which they all started coming across. Plus, we became informed by an unknown source that they were all carrying guns and ice-picks — even the children, so we ended the interview.
-TomZom
The TomZom World Report USA 07 SEP 2015