All posts by SilenceCarrier

EQUAL but not the SAME.

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I am a fan of the arts. I believe that we can really learn much about humanity by studying Arts and Humanities. Theatre and especially musical theatre really speak to me because it is a fun way to get different perspectives on the human condition.  Sometimes when I see a play or musical, some line or concept will strike me as important and will resonate with me for a while.

This is the case with  a beloved (as well as award winning) production titled, “Into the Woods.” The entire production is chock full of lessons worth learning. It is interesting because the show itself is an amalgamation of many classic fairy tales. Many people don’t realize that before Disney came along and gave everything a “happily ever after…” many of these stories didn’t go as well for each protagonist as one might hope. The purpose behind these  ‘not so happy’ endings was to teach a lesson. I have appreciated that, and  tried to learn as much as I can about classic fairy tales as a result.
One of the songs from “Into the Woods” is titled “I know things now” and is performed by  Little Red Riding Hood, after her rescue from the wolf. She proceeds to summarize her bad experience and explain how she learned many things the hard way and especially that, “Nice is different from Good.”

That particular line has resonated with me in the years since I first heard it. The terms “Nice” and “Good” could easily be written off as synonymous. The wolf was ‘Nice’ to Red as she skipped through the forest to Granny’s and suggested that she stop to pick flowers to bring to Granny rather than continue straight on her path as her mother had instructed.  The  seemingly ‘Nice’ action was ultimately not ‘Good’ in that it resulted in Red straying from her path and giving away information that put herself and Granny in terrible danger.

This has stuck with me and comes to mind as I contemplate the point behind this post (Sorry it took so long, sometimes you need a good setup before getting to the meat of an article!)

Much the same as “Nice” can be different from “Good”; “Equal” can be very different from “Same”.

What do I mean by that? Well just take a look at society! We are bombarded by cries for ‘Equality’ at every turn.
“Give us equal rights!” they cry! And why shouldn’t they? As human beings we tend to crave “Fairness”. We want to walk alongside our fellow human beings, not beneath them! We can, and we SHOULD push for equality, however…. ‘Equal’, is different from ‘Same’.

What do I mean by this?

Lets take the feminist movement to begin with.  For centuries women were seen as “lesser” than men. The ‘weaker’ sex and therefore given less credibility and privilege. Women  were seen as little more than property, a step or two above cattle. I could write multiple posts on the evolution of women’s rights and how far we have come. From Women’s suffrage, to equal pay for equal work, to the number of women receiving higher education, we have made GREAT advances! I’d even go so far as saying that in many instances we have achieved a level of Equality!

However,

We STILL cannot say that Men and Women are the SAME. We aren’t, it simply isn’t true. We are fundamentally, physically, emotionally different, and as such, there are things that we are simply incapable of being equal on, and thats OKAY!

Another issue is that of racial equality. I will be the first to stand up in defense of someone who is being belittled, degraded, put down, or bullied in any way shape or form, because they have a different color skin, speak a different language or come from a different country. That sort of behavior is unacceptable.

However,

To say that we are the ‘same’ is also untrue. Differences in culture can be very distinct. Even if the  groups are in the same country/state/city/or even town. The black community is one that is very tight knit. Hispanics tend to behave like a big family, and That. Is. GREAT! I think its wonderful that the different cultural groups have such strong identities, however that doesn’t allow for certain types of ‘equality’.
When a group can regularly address each other using a term that is generally considered derogatory, and when I could potentially get into severe, even legal trouble, for using the exact same term, simply because I do not belong to that group….That goes beyond “not the same” that is unequal.

And finally, I have to go ahead and address the elephant in the room  when it comes to the big “equality” debate these days.

The LGBT community cries for “equality”.  Now, I will state the same as I did for other ethnic groups; “I will be the first to stand up in defense of someone who is being belittled, degraded, put down, or bullied in any way shape or form, because they have a different (sexual orientation) That sort of behavior is unacceptable.”

However,

Here is where we MUST recognize how we CANNOT be the ‘Same’! How we must recognize that “equality” does not mean “special privileges for those who want them”.

Let’s look at the ‘transgenders and bathrooms’ issue. I will have to put my foot down on this one. The concept of ‘Gender identity’ is another long debate/discussion, but at its core, it’s asking us to give special privileges to people who want to be something that they are  very simply, NOT.  I’m sorry, but thats where I stand on that issue. Once again, I refuse to treat them in a negative fashion,  but if someone who is biologically male, and dresses, behaves and tells people that ‘he’ is a ‘she’ wants to use the bathroom designated for females, I’m sorry, but that is a special privilege, they are seeking, not ‘equality’.

‘Marriage’ is a religious term that does not need a redefinition. Does this mean that I don’t think a gay/lesbian couple should be together if they want to be? What I ‘think’ is neither here nor there. If they want to be together, that is their choice, not mine. When  my religious freedoms are being threatened with legislation, then it becomes my business.  I do believe there is a solution possible, if we take the word “marriage”  out of the equation. My good friend Joseph Forefathers recently discussed this. I am in favor of his solution.

I think our society has spent too much time  defining and redefining ‘equality’. We have forgotten that it is OKAY to be different!  Real inequality, especially in a political sense, would be not allowing someone to vote/own property/secure a job/get an education because of their gender/skin color/ethnicity/sexual orientation; that is unfair. That is unequal.

Differences make our world more interesting, and we CAN be equal without being the same!

Let’s talk about SEX.

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‘The nice thing about Carrying your own Silence (see what I did there? I am Silence Carrier so, you know…thats…it’s what I do. Get it?)  Truly Carrying your silence with you allows you to listen, to see, and to really be able to process  the things you see and hear going on all around you, without distraction. Sometimes it is more favorable to listen, that you may fully understand, than to ramble on a point that is ultimately pointless.  I thank Mr. Zom for allowing  me to this avenue to set my silence down for a spell, that I may rest my tongue from being so frequently bitten down upon.

But back to my original point:

Sex. (ahh, I see  I have your attention again)

It’s everywhere . Really. Our society is embedded with it. It is engrained into everything we do.  And why shouldn’t it? Don’t we all owe our very existence to that very act?

We’ve all heard the story, the “tale as old as time” as it were. “When a mommy and a daddy love each other VERY MUCH…” und so weiter…

Human sexuality is a subject of deep fascination at some point or other to every individual who has ever, or will ever exist. If you are thinking to yourself, “Well not to ME!” you are lying to yourself.
Of COURSE sex is fascinating! It’s the most interesting thing in the world!

The problem however (that’s right, you knew I was coming to this didn’t you?) is that it IS important. It is one of the most important aspects of life in fact. Important, necessary, special, SACRED. It is but you wouldn’t get that impression if you  walk amongst our fellow citizens of this planet just now.

Society of late has made great effort to  tear down that title of ‘sacred’. The pornography industry thrives on making voyeuristic sex casual, raunchy, and terrifyingly easy to  access by those who seek it.(and those numbers are great, or the industry wouldn’t be so lucrative) The term “casual hook up” is a commonly heard phrase. Popular magazines, television shows, songs on the radio, they all devalue and cheapen what is arguably one of the most important aspects of life!

Let’s take for example the much hyped, upcoming movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey”. We all know that it is based on the bestselling book of the same title. You should of course know that the basis for this book’s popularity is …you guessed it, SEX!  It contains quite a lot of it, detailed and gratuitously lascivious. The book became popular among the middle aged female demographic. I won’t go into all the reasons I am against it, from how its poorly written, or that it promotes dangerous lies, or really because its just terrible.  Despite all of that, it still has a relatively, respectable sized fan base.  And why? Because society has gone ahead and given the ‘Okay’ to making sex nothing more than a mere, casual element of life!

“But why is it such a big deal?” you might ask me.

Here it is: It isn’t….if you are in a committed, marriage.
‘Ahhhh,  there it is Silence. The JUDGEMENT. You are going to JUDGE me for sex outside of marriage, you JUDGEMENTAL, JUDGE-Y person you!!’

Yes, yes, I know, but hear me out. Lets put it in metaphorical terms.

Sex is like fire.

It is necessary, even essential for human life. It provides warmth, light,  and heat to cook  food. Without it we would not survive.   However, it is also dangerous and destructive. It has the capacity to utterly destroy when not employed in the proper confines. If you prepare and build a proper campfire, it can be wonderful, but if you simply light a match in your living room, it is likely going to burn the place down, or at least cause a good deal of damage.

As I said before, none of us would be here if not for the big ‘S’ word, and therein lies the reason it SHOULD be kept within the bonds of marriage. the primary purpose of sex is procreation. That’s not to say that its the SOLE purpose, but if it is continued to be treated without regard for the potential consequences, then we will have more and more “unwanted” pregnancies, and those who cry out in favor of abortions for the sake of convenience will continue (but that is a whole separate topic of its own, which I will leave alone for the time being)

For now, lets think a little bit about the gravity of the choices we make. Be aware of the prevalence of how we are surrounded by sexuality, even admire the beauty and divine intricacy of it,   but please folks, lets think it through first, don’t allow it to be common and cheap. We can do better than that, we can BE better than that.

-Silence Carrier